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Family · talking to ghosts

AI and grief

30-second gist~30s read

There are now apps that can clone the voice and conversational style of a deceased person from their messages, photos, and recordings. The grieving family can "talk to" the relative again — type a message, get a reply that sounds like them.

It's emotionally complex. For some people it's a comforting bridge; for others it interrupts the grieving process. There's no right answer for everyone, but there are honest things worth knowing before you decide.

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What these apps actually do~30s

You upload a sample of the person's writing — messages, emails, sometimes journals. The app fine-tunes a model on their voice and style. If you provide audio recordings, it adds voice-clone capability. The result is a chatbot that sounds remarkably like them. It's not them. It's a statistical impression of how they used to write and speak.

What therapists and grief counsellors are saying~30s

Early reports suggest moderate use — occasional check-ins, helping with a specific moment of missing the person — can be supportive. Replacing the work of grieving (sitting with sadness, accepting absence, letting your relationship with the person change over time) is risky. Some bereavement specialists worry about "frozen grief" patterns, where the AI keeps the person alive enough that the person grieving never moves through the stages they need to.

If you're considering one of these apps, talk to a counsellor first. Use it sparingly. Treat it like visiting a grave, not like the person is still on the phone.